Grief and Eating Disorders
In the wake of my own recent loss, I’ve been doing a lot of reflection on the topic of grief and its impact on mental health, specifically eating disorder recovery and body image. Even the word grief feels like it holds so much and can keep people at arms length due to the heaviness associated with it. Read on to explore with me the relationship between eating disorders and grief, as well as ways of managing during such a difficult time.
p.s. for those wishing to know, yes I am well and feel very cared for during this time by my community
What is Grief?
Before I get ahead of myself, it would be best to begin with what grief even is. Grief is defined by the CDC as a “normal response to a loss during or after a disaster or other traumatic event.” This process is both an individual and a universally felt experience, being a natural reaction to loss. Despite some narratives, grief doesn’t exclusively mean that a person has experienced the death of a loved one, grief can show up in a variety of ways such as: moving, job loss, refugee status, relational ruptures, serious illness, etc.
Despite different cultures having unique ways of reacting to grief, there are some common ways in which grief can present itself. Things to look out for include feelings of distress, sleep changes, appetite changes, anger, sadness, anxiety, numbness, and isolation.
How Does Grief Show Up in Eating Disorders?
Trying to cope with grief and loss can be entirely overwhelming even for those not in recovery from an eating disorder. When grief is paired with eating disorder behaviors it can show up by increasing the frequency and/or intensity of binge eating, restriction, or compensatory behaviors like exercise or purging.
Grief can impact our mood and behaviors so drastically, which tracks as people make attempts at grounding due to the monumental shift in environment or identity. With such a fundamental shift, it’s reasonable to imagine those working on recovery to lapse or relapse due to the comforting effects of old neural pathways based in the eating disorder. There is an amount of structure and consistency that can be found in eating disorder behaviors; providing the sense of soothing during a time that is so nebulous and distressing. But with enough time, those initial “benefits” begin to fall away again.
How Do I Heal an Eating Disorder While Grieving?
Recovery sucks at the best of times and doing so when grieving can feel impossible. I see and hear this from clients and make room for this very real reality. Within the grieving process, there comes a time where we find that while the eating disorder provided distraction, feelings of control, or emotional numbness, it doesn’t provide the sustainable healing we were searching for.
For those looking for other ways in which to find support not in (or not entirely in) their eating disorder, trying a combination of the following could be a good start:
Therapy. Seems self explanatory but you’d be surprised. If you haven’t seen your provider in a minute, give them a text or if you are already seeing one, discuss with them if temporarily increasing session frequency could be a good fit for you (ex// going weekly if you were biweekly or doing twice weekly sessions if necessary)
Reaching out to family and friends even when urges to isolate are strong, noting the difference between alone time and withdrawing
Grief focused peer groups or group therapy. I recommend googling “grief support groups in Los Angeles” but filling in your city to find local resources
As a subset of the first point, trying out a different type of therapy, if you feel inclined, such as EMDR Therapy to process the complexities of the loss. You can read more about EMDR here in a past blog post
Where Do I Find Help for Grief and Eating Disorder Support in California ?
For those reading this in recovery and processing loss, I want you to know I understand and your recovery is still valid even if you find yourself having a lapse or full blown relapse. So whether you’re looking for support with your eating disorder recovery while struggling with grief, or would like to give EMDR therapy a go during this difficult time, feel free to call or text me at (805) 292-0836 for a free 15 min consultation or click here to message me. You are so deserving of care and healing.
